Stupid Cupid

So...I really hate, and I stress HATE, Valentine's Day. It just bothers me, and not because I'm single. I was in a relationship for 5 straight Valentine's Days in high school/beginning of college, and my hatred still prevails. And I don't really know why. I just know that it's absolute bullshit that they created a holiday so that social pressures force guys to live up to the expectations that they should be fulfilling year-round. And even still, most of them still fail to make their significant other happy just because there's so much pressure for them to make the day perfect. The slightest glitch ruins the entire day. I had to get my grandmother a birthday card yesterday, and while I was perusing, I literally watched this guy go through every freakin' valentine's card in search of the perfect one. On any other day of the year, he would have picked up the first one he read that sounded alright. The hype makes me want to throw up in my mouth, and I am secretly hoping to catch my roommate's bronchitis so that I can stay in bed all day tomorrow and not have to face the day at all. That would be my ideal Valentine's Day.

Wow, I sound pretty bitter huh? I can promise you that my hatred is totally independent of my relationship frustrations which, by the way, are actually at a minimum right now. Why? Cause I somehow managed to bust my "give a damn" again which is fine by me. I've realized that for me, "content" is a good place to be anymore. It keeps my face off the ground and keeps me from getting my hopes up. I'm just not going to worry about it. As Dean says, it's just going to happen. Why? Because I'm awesome. Remembering that does help me let things go. So yeah, for the present moment, my brain is not racing at 651381685416352416354 miles an hour with questions, thoughts, dreams, scenarios, etc....I'm just chillin and soaking it all in. It'll happen on God's time, and because I want His best, I'll let Him guide me. He'll tell me what to do.

So, how bout that episode of Grey's Anatomy last night? I think my heart flatlined when the bomb actually went off. I have absolutely fallen in love with this show! I bought Season 1 for myself for Valentine's Day (lasts longer than gerbera daisies which I would secretly love to get) so hopefully I'll be able to catch up on what I missed before I started watching. I absolutely love Meredith Grey. She tries to find meaning to the events that occur in her life so that she optimizes the wisdom she obtains from her experiences. I love that! And she's so strong.....must be a Gray/Grey thing, haha! If you don't watch the show, you really should start. It's a lot better than half the garbage we watch, and it's highly entertaining. I mean, who expected the bomb to explode in the midst of angelic music? That was awesome! (I sound like a guy or something...I mean, who else gets this excited because of an explosion? haha)

So yeah....I'm just blabbing. William comes home this weekend, so please pray that we will be able to see past our differences and truly enjoy each other's company. Other than that, I hope everyone has as pleasant of a Valentine's Day as possible, and if anyone wants to forget their sorrows, I'll be downtown tomorrow night! ;)

I love you guys!

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away."
~Meredith, Grey's Anatomy