What Would Dad Do?

Yes, I know this sounds sac-religious, but don’t worry - I’m not about to start marketing bracelets that have “WWDD?” on them or anything. It’s just a question that my brother and sister-in-law have been encouraging me to ask myself recently, and it’s one that serves as a firm reminder of all the things that my father taught me during the 21 amazing years that we were on this earth together. My father was a good person, and for him, there wasn’t such a fine line between right and wrong. Sure, he made plenty of mistakes during his lifetime, but at the same time, he bestowed in my siblings and I great lessons and values that would prove to guide our decisions when we so often approached certain crossroads. So for me, considering what he would do in certain situations serves as a more tangible guide when faced with tough questions upon which I am to react. Allow me to further explain….

When I was growing up during those painful pubescent years that were drenched with poignant female hormones, my mother used to always tell me that I was always too emotional about everything. My reply to this was usually firm denial delivered via high pitched screams through big fat tears. A decade later, I’m realizing that she was probably right.

Now, I’m not one to indulge in astrology other than to read it for fun in magazines from time to time, but I do know that pisces are identified as those who “react emotionally to everything making them compassionate and sensitive to those around them.” This description describes me to a tee! This is not to say that I’m some kind of drama queen because I certainly try to avoid drama at all costs. It’s just that sometimes, my reaction to certain situations is the result of extreme emotions that don’t really augment any sort of constructive conflict resolution or, at times, creates drama in and of itself. Therefore, I tend to create more grief for myself which ultimately results in a never-ending cascade of emotions that usually don’t get resolved without some sort of sought out intervention. It’s a horrible cycle that can only be fixed by one thing: objectivity.

It is during these times of self-discovery as I continue to grow and mature that I really wish I had my Daddy around to help me sort through my emotions and figure out how to channel them into positive energy; however, the continuous advice I’ve received from Dean and Mischa have allowed me really embrace the person my father was and remember his words and lessons, even in his near four-year absence. So, in those moments when I’m about to dive off the deep end, I’m just going to take a second between the pre-dive bounce and the final plunge to think to myself “What would Dad do?” and by stimulating my brain with this question, I hope to be able to find objectivity in the face of the greatest adversities that life brings. What a beautiful revelation...

EUREEKA!

Who Needs a Ring When You Can Have a Puppy??

So, on Sunday, January 25th, I became a Mom. My entry into motherhood was not entailed with my legs being in stirrups for hours, pushing painfully while drenched in sweat and screaming at the top of my lungs. I left work on Sunday night and headed to Anderson to spend my usual week with Enon. Retrospectively, Enon was kind of sucking up all day. When I'd gotten up to go to work Sunday morning, he'd run to McDonald's to get me coffee and breakfast. When I called him on my lunch break, he admitted that he was in the middle of doing all my laundry, and he anxiously wondered if I was going to get off at a decent hour if it would be another long workday. Now, don't get me wrong...Enon has his moments of glory, but I guess I should've suspected something given that he had been on his best behavior all day, making sure I noticed all the sweet things he had done for me. When I got to Anderson, Enon said he had an early Valentine's Day present for me which was a book about Labrador Retrievers. He said he'd gotten it so I'd be better prepared for when I finally did get a puppy to which I wailed, "ugh, this is only going to make me want a puppy even more!" I guess I should've caught his grin then, but still, I suspected nothing. He told me to take my stuff into his room so that we could get ready for dinner. As I walked into his room, sitting on the bed in a pink basket was Daisy. After staring at her for a moment and wondering if she was real or if this was just a horrible practical joke, she opened her eyes and looked up at me and I immediately felt tears rush to my eyes. I was in love!



In the past 4 days, my life has changed dramatically. Sunday night, I got up 4 times to help Daisy potty train. At 3am, she decided she was in the mood to play. When I couldn't get her to go back into her crate to go to sleep, I let her rest beside the bed because I was so exhausted that I couldn't hold up my heavy eyelids a second longer. When we got up at 6:30 with Enon, I figured that this is what a new mother must feel like when she first brings her baby home. The rest of the morning was spent alternating between naps and playtime. In the afternoon, we went to the vet where she howled the whole time since she was in an unfamiliar place. I cradled her in my arms and rocked her until she was soothed to quiet wimpering. We made it through the check-up where she spit up one of her medications and was not taking to the treats they kept offering. She wailed the entire car ride to PetSmart to pick up additional supplies, and by the time we were ready to go home, she fell asleep with her head in the cup holder of my console. And that was just Monday.

The rest of the week was spent in a similar fashion. Tuesday, I cried when I had to leave her to go to the grocery store, and she wailed the entire time she was left in her crate. Wednesday, we worked more fiercly on crate training to which she voluntarily entered her crate multiple times. We also worked on walking with the leash, and sitting on command. By Thursday, we were all worn out that we spent the morning laying in bed watching TV until Enon came home at lunch feeling nauseous. Then the three of us cuddled up to take a refreshing nap, followed by more TV time and eventually a bath. It was the busiest week I've had in a long time, and even though she's just a dog, I felt a love that was more intense than anything I'd ever had that wasn't romantic. I hardly found time to put on make-up this week because my time was devoted to something other than myself which was refreshing so much fun! Daisy is absolutely perfect, and I'm so incredibly grateful that Enon found her and loves me enough to give her to me as the most perfect Valentine's Day present ever! Who needs a ring?? Being Daisy's mama is enough for now, and I know that a ring will come soon enough. Besides, right now it would simply just be another thing for the puppy to chew on....

Until next time...

Engagement Season

So, yes, engagement season is on us in full force. I find that the only reason I even log onto facebook anymore is so I can get the latest update on whose gotten engaged which is usually followed by subsequent stalking to see how their wedding turned out. What is wrong with me??

Today, my younger brother proposed to his girlfriend of a year. I have always said that William would get engaged before me, especially given my horrible dating record during my college days, so as this day approached, I'm at least grateful to report that I'm a lot closer than I initially perceived myself to be. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm EXTREMELY ecstatic for my brother and Jessica, and even more excited that I'm obtaining two nieces who happen to be two of the cutest little girls I know (Jessica's twins from a previous marriage), but I couldn't help but to feel a bit of a sting when I got the news today. There's no doubt that I'm a helluva lot more excited than I am jealous, but you can bet that this is wearing my patience a wee bit thinner than I think Mr. Hopkins would like for it to be. Thank God he's a good sport, right?

I don't know what it is. There's no rush into "forever", right? I know I'm not old and it's not like my biological clock is running out on me anytime soon, but it seems that when you reach a certain age, no one takes your relationship seriously unless you have a ring on your finger, especially given as long as Enon and I have been together. On June 26th, we will be celebrating our 3-year anniversary. I suppose I shouldn't care what others think, but I guess I'm just ready to take our commitment to the next level. Of course, there are other factors that have to fall into place, especially financial factors, and I'm willing to wait for those. I guess I just envy others who already have their ducks in a row because I'm extremely ready to take the next step. Until then, I guess I'm strong enough to endure the rest of engagement season. Afterall, I never know when it'll be my turn...

Congratulations William and Jessica! May the two of you have a very happy and prosperous marriage together!

'Night kids!

Happy 2009!!!

So, I'm not quite sure how you gauge whether or not a year has been "good" or "bad", and I certainly don't know how ringing in a new year indicates that dramatic changes are going to occur, but I sure am ready for 2009! This is not to say that 2008 was a "bad" year, it was just a year that was marred by adversity. I had a pretty rough spring semester characterized by my stress levels reaching their apex and lots of tears. Then there was the disappointments of the election and Georgia football season (who beat Michigan State today by the way, marking a great way to ring in the new year!) thus making a stressful fall. Summer can easily be rectified by a day on the lake or a day at the beach sipping on adult beverages, so no complaints there. All in all, it just seems like a lot of the year was spent in somewhat of a "funk" which makes it easy to say goodbye to 2008.

In spite of adversity, however, there were a lot of good things that happened in 2008. For starters, I got to spend an amazing day on April 4th with my family where we spread my Dad's ashes over Cedar Falls on Petit Jean Mountain. This day could not have been more perfect, and the closure that resulted from honoring my Dad's last wish really left a refreshing feeling in my soul. It was a day that I knew my Daddy was proud of us, and it truly was a perfect send-off in which we were able to recall memories and laugh about them instead of soaking them with tears. Being with my family was amazing, and somehow, I was able to feel my Dad's spirit with us too.

I also have to be thankful that in spite of extreme stress levels I experienced, Enon and I successfully met mastery on all of our coursework for PT school which is an absolutely amazing feeling! There were definitely times where I wasn't sure we would survive, but we did! 2008 was also a year in which Enon and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary, and while we continue to have our bumps in the road, I feel like we are as happy as ever and I'm still extremely grateful that he is a part of my daily life, and for that I will continuously be grateful.

In spite of the good things 2008 brought, it is the rewards of 2009 which I am looking forward to reaping. Barring any complications during our last clinical experience, Enon and I will graduate on May 8, 2009 with our doctor of physical therapy degrees! This marks the end of school, a huge milestone in our educational endeavors, and the opportunity to FINALLY enter the workforce and become financially independent! How exciting! I also hope that by the conclusion of 2009 I will be donning a shiny rock on my left hand as I really am more confident than ever that Enon is the one that God sent to be my soulmate. Now, am I getting a little impatient?? Well, I won't lie...but, it's an extremely exciting part of our relationship, and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes because there's no reason to rush into forever because that's exactly where Enon and I are headed. Lastly, I hope for the 2009 football season to be a promising one for Bulldogs. Now, I know that sounds ridiculous, but don't judge me! Georgia Football is so very much a part of what makes me tick, and if the worst thing I have to worry about it whether or not my Dawgs win a football game, well then life isn't that bad, now is it?? :)

Happy New Year! May everyone have a safe and rockin' 2009!

The Ways of God...

So, I treated this patient the other day. He was a middle aged man with a thick white beard, thinned salt and pepper hair, a solid beer gut, and a thick stature which ultimately reminded me of Daddy. The similarities quickly ended there as I read through his chart which revealed a lifetime of social misbehaviors including past cocaine use and smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes per day for the last 30 years. The only other similarity he shared with my Daddy was in his diagnosis: myocardial infarction.

As I read these words in his chart, my own heart started screaming. I'm not sure if my heart was screaming at God, screaming for my Daddy, or just screaming for the sake of screaming. I just couldn't believe that I had been given orders to treat this man who reminded me very much of my Daddy, yet with his history of partying and poor decisions, he actually survived his heart attack! That God, he sure can be cruel sometimes. Or so I thought...

Prior to treating this patient, I could feel the bitterness welling up in my whole body. One of the main reasons I opted to be a PT was because of the endless opportunities I was going to have to help people, yet there wasn't a bone in my body that wanted to help this patient. I figured that if he was lucky enough to survive his heart attack, then he could just figure the rest out for himself. Now, it's true that my Daddy wasn't the healthiest individual in the whole wide world, but he'd made a conscious effort to monitor his health, try to lose weight, and abstain from smoking and heavy drinking. This dude had done none of that but he was sitting in front of me waiting for me to help him. It was then that I had to dig down deep and think about what Daddy would've done, and without a doubt in my mind, I knew that my Daddy would've prayed.

So, I prayed. I prayed that God would help nurture this man back to health, and that he would treat this health scare as a wake up call to change...to change his social habits, to change his spiritual habits, and to gain appreciation for this life that he was given a second chance at living because there are so many people who aren't given that luxury...

As I proceeded with my treatment of this particular patient, I realized that God meant for this whole situation to happen. Medically, you can't explain why this guy survived while my father did not. But, you can't always compare things on paper. After his death, my stepmom once described my father as the only adult person that she knew that has died and is actually in heaven without a shadow of doubt. Perhaps it was for this reason that he wasn't given a second chance because there are so many people in this world who need to fix their lives in order ensure that they will find themselves in heaven one day. Either way, this whole situation served as the perfect illustration of God's individual plan for each one of us. And while we don't always like it and while it's sometimes not fair, it always seems to work itself out in the end...

I know I said I was done blogging about Daddy, but in the oddest way, working with this patient made my heart smile because I realized that I, too, know that Daddy is in heaven without a shadow of a doubt, and it truly is a much better place to be...

Until next time...love y'all!

My Indifference to the Media

Now here's something I can talk passionately about...my indifference for the media.

Now, I say indifference instead of hatred for one reason: the opposite of love is not hate because if I hated the media, then it's still an emotion that insinuates that I care when, really, I don't. Let me explain...

There are two things in my life that I really care about right now: politics and Georgia football. Forgive me for being so simple, but the rest of it is really all junk. That's not to say I don't indulge in trashy celebrity magazines every now and then, but we're all entitled to our guilty pleasures, right? In the grand scheme of things, Brangelina having their 8,000th child or Lindsey Lohan being gay or straight has no effect on how I tick like the other two topics.

Now, it's true that politics are of particular interest to me given that it's an election year, but as a future healthcare provider, I've come to realize that it's important for me to be an active lobbyist in advocating for and against certain legislature that will help enhance my profession as a physical therapist. As McCain said it, there's no reason that a bureaucrat should stand between you and your doctor. The idea of socialized medicine will so greatly effect the career I have yet to begin that I have to be passionate about ensuring that Obama and his ignorant values and ideas don't make it to the White House. Plus, there are his diplomatic skills, his overtaxed plans, and just general B.S. that make my stomach churn anytime I hear his voice. Needless to say, following this election race has been of particular interest to me.

Georgia football should be a known topic of interest for me if you know me at all, and my interest has been amplified by the hype that this season has brought. I love Georgia Football with my soul and there is a place in my heart right next to Jesus, my family/friends, and Enon, for my beloved Dawgs. It's true that I've been heartbroken and let down before and I'm well aware that there is a possibility that I'll be let down by the time we've maneuvered through our tough schedule, but there is just something about a cold beer, a crisp breath of the Athens, GA fall air, and the view of Sanford Stadium on a Saturday afternoon that rejuvenates me and gives me goosebumps. My parents and family members think it's an annoying obsession which is fine because I wouldn't expect them to understand. But Dawg fans understand, and I know I have 92,000 friends that share this moment of glory with me 7 Saturdays a year during football season.

Ok, now that I've explained what makes me tick, I will now explain my indifference to the media. Media outlets, no matter how ethical they try to be in attempting unbiased reporting are always going to lean to one side or the other. Now, I like to think of myself as being a well-educated individual with strong values and beliefs, but I think that even I have fallen victim of the media from time to time. The thing is, there are too many people in our country who rely on the media to help them make decisions due to an inability to think independently. I believe the great line in the Casting Crown's song is "stop asking Oprah what to do" which is such a true sentiment because too many people look to the dang TV to figure out how to solve their problems and go through their daily lives. Is this the sad existence that so many of us have come to?? To this, I say turn off the TV, shut down the computer, and plug your iPod in when you're driving down the road because there is really no reason for us to be turning to any media outlet to help shape our thoughts and ideals. I think it's absolutely ludicrous to do so, and until we start thinking for ourselves, we're never going to make it in this unforgiving world.

I no longer turn my TV to News channels because I know that John McCain and Sarah Palin's values reflect my own, and there's no reason that I should be angered by listening to one more Obama speech seeing that I will be unmoved by any word that comes out of his mouth. I'm almost amused at how intensely the media and liberal pieces of crap loathe Sarah Palin seeing that they seem to forget that she is running for VICE president and is NOT Obama's primary opponent. I personally think that the intensity behind the hatred comes from the denial in that they are angry that McCain so cleverly chose her when Obama's running mate is nothing but a creepy, old, damn Yankee who is hardly worth showing off. Unfortunately, there are many people who are still on the fence about who they are going to vote for come November 4th, and these biased opinions, which seem to be moreso in Obama's favor, will really impact all the ignorant people in America who can't think for themselves. If you need help making a decision, do research!!! Don't watch CNN or Fox News to help you figure if you're gonna go red vs. blue! It sickens me to the nth degree which is why I've resorted to reading for pleasure every night versus turning on the old tube.

And as for ESPN, well, it could disintegrate into nothingness and I would not have a care in the world. It's true that to gain the ratings, they have to discuss topics that will draw more fans, and those teams that draw the most fans are the ones with National Championship rings and Heisman Trophies. I get that. However, it's an understatement to say that there is a Bulldog Nation that is very pissed off at ESPN these days, but why bother wasting negative energy on one more biased media outlet?? I have the Bulldogs tattooed on my heart, and ESPN will never be able to sway me otherwise. Sure, their love for certain teams and lack thereof significantly sways voters who, again, can't think for themselves, but I say to hell with them all...let's shut up and play ball! Let's face it...it's THEIR broken system, so if we win week in and week out and they want to continue to drop us down in the polls, then so be it. Come December, when we're 13-0 and not playing in the title game, they'll hate us even more for further proving that the BCS = B.S. because we've already proven that we're not Hawaii and deserve so much more. We proved that last year! All I can do is cheer my Dawgs to victory and hope that we earn some love somewhere along the way, and if we don't, then the only time I'll be tuning into ESPN is when the game is being televised or when I want to know how far down the Gaytor Lovers and USC Fanatics have dropped us down in the polls.

Call me closed minded, call me a hypocrit, I really don't care. All I can do is be happy, and unfortunately, most media outlets do the opposite. To hell with them all. I can simply hope for a McCain/Palin victory in November along with a continued undefeated Georgia Bulldog Football team come December with an SEC Championship ring. It's all gonna work itself out!

Until next time...

A New Tune

So, based, on my site meter, I have found that in spite of my inconsistent blogging, I still have people who view my page, and, fortunately, they aren't all viewing my page as a result of images or quotes showing up in google searches. For that, the main person I have to thank is Kit Kitchens because he has been oh-so-faithful in keeping me linked to his very busy blog. So, Kit, thanks for keeping the faith...

I've spend the better half of this evening perusing through old blogs that I had written, mostly back in my UGA days. It's so insane how things have changed between then and now. I've already commented in a prior blog about how it seems that a common theme in my posts revolved around either being single/hating boys, dwelling on family drama, or going through the loss of my daddy. Well, Enon, lack of family drama, and mending through time means that I can no longer carry on the aforementioned themes, so I'm to a point where it's time to start singing to a new tune.

My friend Cindy, a former medical student at MCG, once composed a blog (that I unfortunately cannot find in order to properly link) regarding how being a medical student puts you in a life where every aspect is consumed by the medical world. As a result of this, medical students are incapable of making conversation with "real" people because their lives are so consumed by all things med school that it takes away their ability to relate to others. While I am not pursuing a degree in medicine, I am still very much in the same ship and have been ever since being in PT school. When reading through my old blogs, I found myself admiring the passion I used to have, and the inspiration that I gained from my daily encounters. My days of being a PT student haven't really left the same kind of thoughts lingering in my heart as I've had to indulge in a world consumed by medical conditions, research, and rehabilitation protocols; therefore, the ideas for blogs have been few and far between. I've started writing dozens of blogs that I ultimately deleted because I realized I didn't have the same passion as I once had, and it's been frustrating. I need a major change in my life because my heart and soul are thirsting to be inspired. Perhaps that change will come with re-entry into the real world as I am on track to graduate in 8 short months. In the mean time, I'm going to try to start paying attention a little more so that somehow, I can fulfill this need I have to connect with people, because it has been far too long since I've been able to do so....

Hang on everybody, I'm going to make a comeback! I've missed being able to express my thoughts and expose my heart, and I'm hoping to make that change real soon...

Until next time...love y'all!