No place that far...
I don't think I'm going to quit obsessing about relationships until God gives me somebody that will love me as unconditionally as He does. Until then, I guess I'm going to have to keep praying for Him to help me through the constant turbulance that plagues my heart, but I do know that only He knows what's best which is why I'm relying on Him to give me the discernment and direction I need so that I might follow in the plan that He has marked out for me. Surrendering myself to Him without letting my emotions rage has been pretty tough, but being angry with God isn't going to get me far. So, I'm choosing to stay positive in hopes that the outcome of my current situation will reflect the positive attitude I'm trying to uphold. This, unfortunately, is going to take time.
I'm sure some of you are silently rejoicing in the evident stalemate that has resulted from my most recent courtship. It somewhat saddens me that I lacked support from so many people, and I'll never understand the selfishness as I think it's kind of obvious how important of an endeavor this is to me. Pastor Carlos preached in church a couple of Sundays ago about how God uses our wants and desires to show us what we already have so that we can see how truly blessed we are. With the desires of my heart fully exposed, some of my most amazing friends stepped up and really cheered me on and prayed for me. For this, I am incredibly grateful, and your actions truly speak volumes. So thanks a lot you guys....you know who you are.
I've decided that in spite of the uncertainty on the other end of this potential relationship, I'm going to continue to fight. Why? Because I want it that bad. Love is blind, thus making it possible to want something so much that you completely lose track of all the rational thought processes that govern the decisions you make. I don't think this is me. I'm not completely oblivious to the dwindling phone calls or the lack of communication in general. I've caught on to the change of interest and doubt. And I understand where the fear is coming from and how inconvenient the distance is. However, this has been the first thing in a long time that has made my life make sense. I'm not saying that I'm going to be psycho about it, but I can't just let go of something that still has potential. Most relationships are opposed, and I think that the ones worth fighting for are worth all the time in the world. So if I have to wait, I can do it. I have to follow my heart on this one, and I truly feel like that’s what God wants me to do because by being patient, I'm proving how much I really trust God. So in spite of every pessimistic thought that I’ve had today and with as many tears that I cried last night, I refuse to give in to my frustrations and lack of patience. I just hope that God will help me to use the spark that’s still there to ignite a fire in his heart that will make the distance seem petty and the time worth the wait.
In the meantime, I’m just going to keep chillin’. After all, that’s about all that I really can do.
Keep praying for me you guys! I love y’all!
“Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, that's why love is so strong. So it can carry you all the way home.”
I'm sure some of you are silently rejoicing in the evident stalemate that has resulted from my most recent courtship. It somewhat saddens me that I lacked support from so many people, and I'll never understand the selfishness as I think it's kind of obvious how important of an endeavor this is to me. Pastor Carlos preached in church a couple of Sundays ago about how God uses our wants and desires to show us what we already have so that we can see how truly blessed we are. With the desires of my heart fully exposed, some of my most amazing friends stepped up and really cheered me on and prayed for me. For this, I am incredibly grateful, and your actions truly speak volumes. So thanks a lot you guys....you know who you are.
I've decided that in spite of the uncertainty on the other end of this potential relationship, I'm going to continue to fight. Why? Because I want it that bad. Love is blind, thus making it possible to want something so much that you completely lose track of all the rational thought processes that govern the decisions you make. I don't think this is me. I'm not completely oblivious to the dwindling phone calls or the lack of communication in general. I've caught on to the change of interest and doubt. And I understand where the fear is coming from and how inconvenient the distance is. However, this has been the first thing in a long time that has made my life make sense. I'm not saying that I'm going to be psycho about it, but I can't just let go of something that still has potential. Most relationships are opposed, and I think that the ones worth fighting for are worth all the time in the world. So if I have to wait, I can do it. I have to follow my heart on this one, and I truly feel like that’s what God wants me to do because by being patient, I'm proving how much I really trust God. So in spite of every pessimistic thought that I’ve had today and with as many tears that I cried last night, I refuse to give in to my frustrations and lack of patience. I just hope that God will help me to use the spark that’s still there to ignite a fire in his heart that will make the distance seem petty and the time worth the wait.
In the meantime, I’m just going to keep chillin’. After all, that’s about all that I really can do.
Keep praying for me you guys! I love y’all!
“Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, that's why love is so strong. So it can carry you all the way home.”
posted by Stacy @ 8:50 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:28 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Stacy I have trying to figure out what words of wisdom Dad would say to you about what you are feeling. First of all I can not speak for him, Love was one subject matter that he knew a lot about, the good and the bad parts of it. I know that Dad always had to have someone to love and to be loved by someone. That is part of his makeup that made him unique. I can only speak for myself and to be truly loved by someone is an awesome experience, which I experienced from your dad, and. something that I will cherish forever. When we first got married I was not totally 110% committed to the relationship. Don’t get me wrong I love your father even then but I had to learn to trust that his love was a real unconditional love for me. To have a relationship with someone takes time and willingness between both parties. You can not make someone love you, it is an emotion that God has breed into our beings, so that we can freely love Him as He loves us, me, and especially you. God has given you a taste of what it is like to have a deep loving relationship with someone, getting you prepared for the next better relationship. Waiting on this relationship to blossom or die out you may be overlooking someone else. Women, tend to want things so bad, that we get focus on that idea that we overlook the simple things that are right in front of our face. We also tend to try to hard to make things work that we end up messing things up. I want more than anything for you to be happy and if is meant to be with this person than I will support you all the way and if it does not work out I will be there to help pick you up. Remember without going through trials we don’t grow. God does not cause confusion, He is of peace. I usually know that something is not right for me if I am toying with the decision and do not have peace.
Dad would use 1 Corinthians 13 4-6 (also referred to as the Love Chapter) as a guideline for determining his motives, emotions and actions regarding what he was feeling. He would turn each statement into questions. Is my love patient… is my love kind… is my love envy and so on. Try this as you reflect on your relationship, this could be use between man to women and even between friends.
I will be praying for your situation
Love ya L
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