Pretty sure......
So, my life continues to run around in circles leaving me empty handed. I'm pretty sure I'm right back to square one. Pretty sure....
Everything is returning to the way they were. Kristen and Jonny got back together. Mina is coming back to Athens. Emily and Steven got back together. If I was a betting woman, I'm pretty sure that I would say that Melissa and Joey were going to get back together shortly too. Pretty sure....
...guess you just don't know what you had til it's gone...
--Counting Crows
And best of all, I'm as single as can be. Well, I can't say that for certain, but having seen Brian once in the past two weeks and being able to count on one hand the number of times we've spoken seems like it's a pretty good indicator that things are heading south. Pretty sure I should probably get more attention than that even though he's amazing and I would probably do just about anything for the kid. Pretty sure it all just sucks the hugest nut ever. Pretty sure....
Something's gotta go wrong cause I'm feeling way too damn good...
--Nickelback
What does this all mean? Basically, it means that it's gonna be a long, shitty ass summer. Always is. I haven't had a good summer in such a long time. Pretty sure that there's gonna be lots of alcohol consumption going down. Mina warned me to get my liver ready because we were gonna be hitting up happy hour everyday after 5. Pretty sure nothing can prepare my liver for this bullshit though and I'll probably pull a muscle on the first day. Pretty sure....
...ain't no cure for the summertime blues...
--Alan Jackson
Pretty sure music is like the best thing ever. I'm so tired of talking about everything that's going wrong or right with Brian (wow, I really like that kid.) I just keep resorting to music and find my life expressed in the ingenius lyrics of so many great songs. Doesn't ever change my situation, but for approximately 3-4 minutes, it's almost like an out-of-body experience where I'm whisked away to a world where there are no words to speak, only lyrics to be sung that release great truths and are accessorized by beautiful melodies that can feel no pain. It's so hard to describe the impact music has on my life, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't live without a good song to temporarily make me forget the pain. Pretty sure....
dance your cares away, worries for another day, let the music play.
--fraggle rock
And lastly, I'm pretty sure I'm in the most pessimistic mood ever. I'm so tired of playing this game with the boy....I'm tired of people asking me about him....I'm tired of justifying to people why I like him and why I want him around....I'm tired of watching my phone blink in hopes that it'll ring....I'm tired of vying for his time with everything else he has to do....I'm tired of being so friggin' understanding and sacrificing so much in hopes of getting a minute of his attention....I'm tired of the denial....and I'm tired of going in circles. I just wish I was strong enough to tell him to fuck off so that I don't feel like this....confused, wondering, wishing so hard that he would want to know about my day or tell me about his....I guess that's my answer. Huh.... pretty sure that wasn't the answer I wanted. Pretty sure......
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
--Simple Plan
Everything is returning to the way they were. Kristen and Jonny got back together. Mina is coming back to Athens. Emily and Steven got back together. If I was a betting woman, I'm pretty sure that I would say that Melissa and Joey were going to get back together shortly too. Pretty sure....
...guess you just don't know what you had til it's gone...
--Counting Crows
And best of all, I'm as single as can be. Well, I can't say that for certain, but having seen Brian once in the past two weeks and being able to count on one hand the number of times we've spoken seems like it's a pretty good indicator that things are heading south. Pretty sure I should probably get more attention than that even though he's amazing and I would probably do just about anything for the kid. Pretty sure it all just sucks the hugest nut ever. Pretty sure....
Something's gotta go wrong cause I'm feeling way too damn good...
--Nickelback
What does this all mean? Basically, it means that it's gonna be a long, shitty ass summer. Always is. I haven't had a good summer in such a long time. Pretty sure that there's gonna be lots of alcohol consumption going down. Mina warned me to get my liver ready because we were gonna be hitting up happy hour everyday after 5. Pretty sure nothing can prepare my liver for this bullshit though and I'll probably pull a muscle on the first day. Pretty sure....
...ain't no cure for the summertime blues...
--Alan Jackson
Pretty sure music is like the best thing ever. I'm so tired of talking about everything that's going wrong or right with Brian (wow, I really like that kid.) I just keep resorting to music and find my life expressed in the ingenius lyrics of so many great songs. Doesn't ever change my situation, but for approximately 3-4 minutes, it's almost like an out-of-body experience where I'm whisked away to a world where there are no words to speak, only lyrics to be sung that release great truths and are accessorized by beautiful melodies that can feel no pain. It's so hard to describe the impact music has on my life, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't live without a good song to temporarily make me forget the pain. Pretty sure....
dance your cares away, worries for another day, let the music play.
--fraggle rock
And lastly, I'm pretty sure I'm in the most pessimistic mood ever. I'm so tired of playing this game with the boy....I'm tired of people asking me about him....I'm tired of justifying to people why I like him and why I want him around....I'm tired of watching my phone blink in hopes that it'll ring....I'm tired of vying for his time with everything else he has to do....I'm tired of being so friggin' understanding and sacrificing so much in hopes of getting a minute of his attention....I'm tired of the denial....and I'm tired of going in circles. I just wish I was strong enough to tell him to fuck off so that I don't feel like this....confused, wondering, wishing so hard that he would want to know about my day or tell me about his....I guess that's my answer. Huh.... pretty sure that wasn't the answer I wanted. Pretty sure......
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
--Simple Plan
posted by Stacy @ 7:26 PM
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