gotta have faith....
Yeah, so it turns out that God really does work in mysterious ways, and I think I've had a revelation that will hopefully change my skewed perception of life and help me quit cussing in His general direction. I just hope that what I'm about to type makes sense......
So, why do we experience heartache? Heartache is a subjective experience characterized by confusion, emotional pain, and imbalance that is usually delivered to us daily in different forms and magnitudes. Sometimes, it's enough to make you want to go home and take your frustrations out on your waistline or cry yourself to sleep, but other times, it's so minute that it's more like a gnat that flies around your face annoying the hell out of you until you eventually squash it. There's always a setback that creates some sort of ambiguity with your mental processes that ultimately hinders any optimism and manifests itself until there is some sort of resolution. This can last for minutes, hours, or days at varying intensities depending on your level of emotional arousal and the impact of other experiences being integrated into your executive brain functions to offset this heartache. These uncertainties never idle and no matter how big of a deal they really are, they cause distress and ultimately impede upon your ability to focus on other things. The good news, however, is that a resolution eventually presents itself be it a distraction or a fortunate event to counteract your distress, thus outweighing negative emotions and creating an overall feeling of contentment. But what's the point of all of this? Why must this process constantly offset our equilibrium and tamper with our emotions? What lesson is there to learn?
My life for the past couple of years has been nothing but butting heads with God. I know what I want, but God has some sort of alternative plan for me that I don't always find preferable. Yes, things have been looking up lately. I am beginning to see the iris of God's eyes, but we're not quite there yet. God knows this, and that's why He hasn't given up on me because my yearning to find understanding and truth in every situation gives me hope that I will find the true understanding behind all of these puzzle pieces of which my life is comprised. Thusly, God likes to remind me that He is control by giving me these little heartaches in which I automatically throw in the towel, thinking I can predict the outcome because of the redundancy, but lately, God has been proving me wrong. He's been providing positive resolutions that warm my heart because, while it sucks to have to go through this emotional drama time and time again, God constantly fixes things, reminding me of how important it is for me to trust Him, and with my newfound understanding, this is becoming easier. No, I'm not happy go lucky right now, everything is far from perfect, but I'm at least on track, walking this slowly ascending path that will hopefully lead me to where God wants me to be, and when I get up there, I'm gonna be able to look Him in the eyes and understand the answers to all of my questions. And maybe my heartache, my dull, chronic heartache that has plagued me for the past two years, will finally dissipate. Just maybe............
So yeah, that's enough profound wisdom to relinquish the faith that some of you might have lost in me regarding my religious strength. I still very much utilize God's presence in my heart as a guide to figure out which steps to take and in which direction to go. What can I say? Sometimes you've gotta figure things out for yourself, but as long as you figure them out, then you'll be good to go.
Until next time......
"If there were no rewards to reap, no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now...."--Tool
So, why do we experience heartache? Heartache is a subjective experience characterized by confusion, emotional pain, and imbalance that is usually delivered to us daily in different forms and magnitudes. Sometimes, it's enough to make you want to go home and take your frustrations out on your waistline or cry yourself to sleep, but other times, it's so minute that it's more like a gnat that flies around your face annoying the hell out of you until you eventually squash it. There's always a setback that creates some sort of ambiguity with your mental processes that ultimately hinders any optimism and manifests itself until there is some sort of resolution. This can last for minutes, hours, or days at varying intensities depending on your level of emotional arousal and the impact of other experiences being integrated into your executive brain functions to offset this heartache. These uncertainties never idle and no matter how big of a deal they really are, they cause distress and ultimately impede upon your ability to focus on other things. The good news, however, is that a resolution eventually presents itself be it a distraction or a fortunate event to counteract your distress, thus outweighing negative emotions and creating an overall feeling of contentment. But what's the point of all of this? Why must this process constantly offset our equilibrium and tamper with our emotions? What lesson is there to learn?
My life for the past couple of years has been nothing but butting heads with God. I know what I want, but God has some sort of alternative plan for me that I don't always find preferable. Yes, things have been looking up lately. I am beginning to see the iris of God's eyes, but we're not quite there yet. God knows this, and that's why He hasn't given up on me because my yearning to find understanding and truth in every situation gives me hope that I will find the true understanding behind all of these puzzle pieces of which my life is comprised. Thusly, God likes to remind me that He is control by giving me these little heartaches in which I automatically throw in the towel, thinking I can predict the outcome because of the redundancy, but lately, God has been proving me wrong. He's been providing positive resolutions that warm my heart because, while it sucks to have to go through this emotional drama time and time again, God constantly fixes things, reminding me of how important it is for me to trust Him, and with my newfound understanding, this is becoming easier. No, I'm not happy go lucky right now, everything is far from perfect, but I'm at least on track, walking this slowly ascending path that will hopefully lead me to where God wants me to be, and when I get up there, I'm gonna be able to look Him in the eyes and understand the answers to all of my questions. And maybe my heartache, my dull, chronic heartache that has plagued me for the past two years, will finally dissipate. Just maybe............
So yeah, that's enough profound wisdom to relinquish the faith that some of you might have lost in me regarding my religious strength. I still very much utilize God's presence in my heart as a guide to figure out which steps to take and in which direction to go. What can I say? Sometimes you've gotta figure things out for yourself, but as long as you figure them out, then you'll be good to go.
Until next time......
"If there were no rewards to reap, no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now...."--Tool
posted by Stacy @ 6:07 AM
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