where the ocean meets the sky, he'll be sailing.....

"echo shrill of peeling laughter
echo tears of mourning grief
for our spirits live long after
our encounter here so brief

placid pool of teardrops shimmer
echo long after the rain
and the sunbeams lightly glimmer
dear reflection of our pain

echo shrill of peeling laughter
echo tears of dying grief
for our spirits live long after
our encounter here so brief"
--Unknown

May 1st.....given a second, most people would probably be able to remember what today is. For me, today is a day that I anticipate. Why? Because it's one of the many dates throughout the year where I'm haunted with memories that serve as a reflection of one of the most important people that's ever left footprints on my heart. Happy 23rd Birthday Randy.....

Why is it that these days haunt me? Randy isn't one of those people that is easily out of sight and out of mind. I think of him often, trying my best to rejuvenate happy memories to cleanse the stains of the struggles we endured. Those hard times are agonizing to think about because they are the lost times that we will never be able to get back. All too often we saturate our pride with animosity for other people only to one day regret having wasted empty energy on a lost cause. Instead, we can only be thankful for the time that we get back. Unfortunately for me and Randy, time was of the essence, but I can breathe easier knowing that we were able to resolve our differences at the last minute. Even still, wishful thoughts of what could have been, both then and now, manifest my memories and I can only hope and pray that Randy knows my regrets and how sorry I am for the way things worked out. And I think he does......otherwise he wouldn't haunt me and force me to remember the good times. I still loathe the fact that I can't buy him a cold one to celebrate his birthday, or that I can't ever just call him up to get an outlandish opinion from him or tell him about my day or bitch about life to him. The last time I saw Randy alive, I really wanted to give him a hug, but being that it was after the first civil conversation we'd had in a while and that some of the barriers we had built were still very much present, I refrained from embracing him. And that was it. I never got another chance. Instead, I can only reflect on recollections of the amazing times we had together. It's not always enough, but it will suffice. Just remember to never ever take things for granted. Because days like today aren't easy, and knowing that you did everything you could have done to make every moment worthwhile makes a huge difference. Never, ever forget everything that Randy taught us. There are so many lessons to be learned.....perhaps he haunts us all so that we will never forget how precious life is. Sometimes, we are just too stubborn to realize that until we are left with nothing but memories and a spirit. Fortunately, those are things that we can carry with us forever........

Happy Birthday Randy....and be safe everyone.....

"Let thy child rest in peace and rise again in glory...."