Single white female?

So, I'm not gonna lie......I wish more of you guys would give me feedback about the shit I put on this thing. But it's ok, I understand that school is a bitch and everyone has a full plate to handle before they can focus on anything as trivial as the likes of my thoughts, but if you ever need a distraction, I'd appreciate your comments! But no hard feelings, and thanks to those of you that have responded! I've enjoyed hearing what you have to say!

So, a guy got my number Saturday night..........and I'm a little freaked out. Ok, I'm MAJORLY freaked out. Why?! Dunno......this guy was different. I could tell. And I was attracted to him (gasp!) I met him at a "party" if you can call it that because attendance was poor so I'm not sure it can be classified as a party, but it was a quaint get together sponsored by Miller Lite (yeah, someone had the hookup) that included free paraphernalia and a buzz. Anywho, I got comfortable enough to talk to any and everybody, and found myself having a fun conversation with this kid. I mean, the conversation was as deep as a dinner plate and involved topics like cockroaches and computer science, but he made me laugh, and he had a great smile......so yeah, I'm easy. It was there ya know? I felt it, and now I'm freaked. I just realized how out of the swing of things I am. I mean, relationships are so damn complicated and they get really sticky, yet finding that special someone is on the top of everybody's priority list whether they'll admit it or not. I can honestly say that I was getting comfortable with my single life, but that doesn't mean that I didn't think about relationships. The pressure is all around us. You can be completely content one day, but the next day you're fighting off thoughts that make you loathe the single life due to some minor mishap that throws your equilibrium out of whack. I had a friend (we'll call him Bob to avoid embarrassing him) say to me not too long ago that the 3 things he missed about relationships were 1) kissing, 2) cooking dinner for someone special, and 3) waking up next to someone. Who says stuff like that? How can someone make such an amazing, selfless, and romantic comment and still be single? Guys like Bob don't exist everywhere, and it baffles me that no matter how amazing a person is, you still have to wait for fate to step in and provide you with the opportunity. I hope and pray that someone just as amazing as Bob enters his life really soon, but God doesn't make people with that caliber of character, so I hope Bob will be patient because I know that he deserves to be happy, so he will. So why has my ship maybe come in? I wish I knew that answer. I've been justifying my singleness to myself for some time, and now, the idea of having to sacrifice my boy bashing and carefree lifestyle to let someone else into my heart has me all jumbled up. Sometimes, I just wish that I could tell him to go away to protect myself, but I've got to stop doing that. I have to face the music if I'm ever going to find myself in the arms of somebody else. It's a mixture of emotions. I'm excited, anxious, scared out of my mind, but ready. And I think that's the key. I can't hide behind mommy's leg anymore to keep someone from hurting me. So even though nothing serious has come out of this thus far, I'm prepared for whatever happens. I just hope that it's a good thing, but we'll see.

Ok, no more blabbing.....I'm not even sure if what I just typed made sense, but what the hell? At least some of you can tell me what an idiot I am.....haha. It's cool, I promise. Until next time........