Early morning rant...

Sitting in the Chicago-O’Hare airport an hour and a half early for my 8:45 am flight while staring at the overcast skies through the big window and listening to somber songs on my iPod isn’t exactly helping my already sour mood. For one, I abhor airports. It doesn’t matter how good a trip is, having to go home usually sucks, and for me, the airport has always been the venue that reintroduces me to reality which isn’t very promising considering how dismal airports are. To top it off, my feet are full of blisters from walking around Chicago all day yesterday in heels (yeah, what the hell was I thinking?!) AND I haven’t really slept in 3 days. Sigh, it’s only 7:37 and I think it’s time for a nap…….

My trip to Chicago was great! Mischa took me to the city and I was finally able to visit the Art Institute of Chicago to indulge in the paintings of Gauguin, Monet, Manet, Van Gogh, Picasso, and some others. I’m not really pretending to be sophisticated here – thanks to Mrs. Lee’s AP English class senior year, I’ve really developed an appreciation for Impressionist art. After we had a nice lunch, we walked up Michigan Avenue to “shop” in Coach, Burberry, AX, Tiffany’s, Guess, etc. Of course we didn’t really buy anything (having to fix my car last week left me broke, not that I could afford any of it to begin with) but it’s always interesting to go in those stores and see who’s pretending like they have money (like me) or who actually can afford the heinous yellow Burberry jacket that ran for $745. I did get kind of excited when we were in the Coach store and the employees looked at us as though we were actually prospective patrons. Maybe one day….

And of course, hanging out with Dean was awesome as always. We played cards with some of Dean and Mischa’s friends who were kind of amazed by how similar mine and Dean’s personalities are, especially considering the fact that we really didn’t grow up together. It’s just nice to know that in spite of all the turmoil I face, I can always call him up and know that somehow, he’ll understand. We had fun being ridiculous together. We went to the mall and spent an hour or so in the arcade which I haven’t done in YEARS! It’s so funny how much smaller those skee-ball tables look these days and how much my skills have improved with age. It was kind of fun giving our tickets away to kids who were just DYING to cash in enough tickets to get the disfigured, cross-eyed stuffed bear from the prize counter. Ah, to be a kid again…

So, as I mentioned, I haven’t slept in like 3 days. Part of the reason is because my nephew’s Boston terrier, Peavey, slept with me, and he likes to borough under the covers which made me a little nervous because I was scared that I was either going to kick the crap out of him or just smother him to death under the layers of blankets. The bigger part of the reason, however, is because I realized that I’m losing my comfort zone. Prior to and during my trip, I’ve been trying to figure out living arrangements for when I start school at MCG in May. I was counting on my friend, Jaclyn’s, acceptance to be my bulwark for the new experiences I would be faced with, but after being placed on the waiting list, she’s opted to go to State instead which means that I’m going into this whole thing without anyone really knowing me at all. Additionally, having been spoiled with awesome roommates in my undergraduate career, I’ve realized that there’s a very slim chance I’m going to be able to accomplish the same companionship with new roommates which brings about the fear of being lonely. PT school isn’t going to be a very easy endeavor, and not knowing that I’ll have someone reliable to lean on through it all scares the hell out of me! And, of course, to top it all off, my financial resources aren’t coming together so nicely which means that I’ll probably have to take out more loans than I thought which ought to built my debt up rather nicely. I know that everything’s going to work out, I’m just very nervous about it right now which explains the sleep deprivation, lack of appetite, and overall uneasy feeling. But, I guess we’ll just have to see what I can come up with….

AND to top THAT off, I haven’t talked to Matt in two days which exacerbates my nervousness. Maybe by the time I make it back to Athens, my exhaustion will have caught up with me so that I can pass out as soon as possible. Then I can dream about being a little kid again in the arcade without a care in the world…

Thanks for listening…..love y’all!