more........
Hmmm...
Well, since dealing with this whole grieving thing, my appetite for alcohol has absolutely diminished. I don't consider this a bad thing. It's kind of cool because people love me when I'm drunk, but they also love having an interim DD to drive them downtown, so it's a win-win situation for me. Either way, I'm glad that everyone's respecting my decision to abstain from drinking for a while. It's just that the recent events have brought a lot of change in my life, and the choices that I make now determine the direction that the change takes place. I can either dwell on the fact that Daddy's gone, or I can look at everything that he's left behind and be grateful that I had such an amazing man as a father. Of course I'm choosing the ladder, but it would be very, very easy for me to turn into an angry, bitter person. I don't want that, and I feel like drinking would be a step in that direction, so I guess I'm just playing it safe. The only dilemma I've found with my drinking hiatus is that in a college town like Athens, there really isn't much else to do. I'm really wondering how the sober people have fun in this town. I mean, people make special trips up here with the sole intention of getting obliterated. In fact, it's almost impossible to stay sober. My younger brother, William, came up here last fall and tailgated with us before the GT game, and Kit got him hammered even though he had no desire to drink at all. Oh well...I'm still proud of my decision and I plan on sticking to it until I know that I'm ok. Besides, it's kind of nice that I'm not consuming all those extra calories, and I haven't had to nurse a hangover in over a month! I do miss Waffle House though.....
My family is doing a little better. Dean finally cleaned out Dad's truck and changed the radio station. He even let Mischa (my sister-in-law) drive it, and he's bitching about gas prices, so I guess the toll it's taking on his checking account depletes some of the sentimentality. Either that or it's indicative of the fact that he's mending. I had the best conversation with him the other day. He told me that there were times in the midst of all the grief that he would get really choked up and feel the ripples through his body as he broke down, but he said that EVERY TIME he felt his sanity leaking out of his tear ducts, he would turn around, and I would be standing there which somehow helped him pull himself together. Of course it would have been completely ok had he wanted to lose it, but he felt like it was his duty to be strong for everyone. Either way, it meant so much that I was able to be there for him, and it was a huge compliment coming from him. It made me feel good! :) I guess it just means a lot that I did something good for someone because I was such a basket case and felt like everybody had to take care of me, but I guess we all shared the burden and leaned on each other. I hope that in light of everything that I can continue to be close to everyon in spite of all the distance. It's hard to keep in touch sometimes, especially when you have 6 siblings to keep up with, but the effort is always rewarding. All too often we take our families for granted, but there is never going to be a better bunch of people who will be able to understand who we truly are, and it's important that we always remember to appreciate them. That way we will never have any regrets when they are gone. I'm so glad that I was able to share that last memory with my dad. I just hope that he knew how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. Even if he didn't know then, he knows now, but I would still kill for one last embrace so that he could truly know how much I cherished him in my life....
Well on that note, I guess I'm going to watch more "Friends" until I pass out. Church is in the morning, and I'm excited! Hope you guys had a great weekend! If you get a chance, say a quick prayer for my friend Kit....after MUCH deliberation he decided to move out of Savannah and take a job in Atlanta but he's still kind of unsure about it, so just pray that his questions will get answered and that he'll find peace with his decision soon! Thanks!
Take care....love you all!
"I'll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I'm gonna take it
Sometimes it seems I don't have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
Cause you'll be there"
--George Strait, You'll Be There
Well, since dealing with this whole grieving thing, my appetite for alcohol has absolutely diminished. I don't consider this a bad thing. It's kind of cool because people love me when I'm drunk, but they also love having an interim DD to drive them downtown, so it's a win-win situation for me. Either way, I'm glad that everyone's respecting my decision to abstain from drinking for a while. It's just that the recent events have brought a lot of change in my life, and the choices that I make now determine the direction that the change takes place. I can either dwell on the fact that Daddy's gone, or I can look at everything that he's left behind and be grateful that I had such an amazing man as a father. Of course I'm choosing the ladder, but it would be very, very easy for me to turn into an angry, bitter person. I don't want that, and I feel like drinking would be a step in that direction, so I guess I'm just playing it safe. The only dilemma I've found with my drinking hiatus is that in a college town like Athens, there really isn't much else to do. I'm really wondering how the sober people have fun in this town. I mean, people make special trips up here with the sole intention of getting obliterated. In fact, it's almost impossible to stay sober. My younger brother, William, came up here last fall and tailgated with us before the GT game, and Kit got him hammered even though he had no desire to drink at all. Oh well...I'm still proud of my decision and I plan on sticking to it until I know that I'm ok. Besides, it's kind of nice that I'm not consuming all those extra calories, and I haven't had to nurse a hangover in over a month! I do miss Waffle House though.....
My family is doing a little better. Dean finally cleaned out Dad's truck and changed the radio station. He even let Mischa (my sister-in-law) drive it, and he's bitching about gas prices, so I guess the toll it's taking on his checking account depletes some of the sentimentality. Either that or it's indicative of the fact that he's mending. I had the best conversation with him the other day. He told me that there were times in the midst of all the grief that he would get really choked up and feel the ripples through his body as he broke down, but he said that EVERY TIME he felt his sanity leaking out of his tear ducts, he would turn around, and I would be standing there which somehow helped him pull himself together. Of course it would have been completely ok had he wanted to lose it, but he felt like it was his duty to be strong for everyone. Either way, it meant so much that I was able to be there for him, and it was a huge compliment coming from him. It made me feel good! :) I guess it just means a lot that I did something good for someone because I was such a basket case and felt like everybody had to take care of me, but I guess we all shared the burden and leaned on each other. I hope that in light of everything that I can continue to be close to everyon in spite of all the distance. It's hard to keep in touch sometimes, especially when you have 6 siblings to keep up with, but the effort is always rewarding. All too often we take our families for granted, but there is never going to be a better bunch of people who will be able to understand who we truly are, and it's important that we always remember to appreciate them. That way we will never have any regrets when they are gone. I'm so glad that I was able to share that last memory with my dad. I just hope that he knew how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. Even if he didn't know then, he knows now, but I would still kill for one last embrace so that he could truly know how much I cherished him in my life....
Well on that note, I guess I'm going to watch more "Friends" until I pass out. Church is in the morning, and I'm excited! Hope you guys had a great weekend! If you get a chance, say a quick prayer for my friend Kit....after MUCH deliberation he decided to move out of Savannah and take a job in Atlanta but he's still kind of unsure about it, so just pray that his questions will get answered and that he'll find peace with his decision soon! Thanks!
Take care....love you all!
"I'll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I'm gonna take it
Sometimes it seems I don't have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
Cause you'll be there"
--George Strait, You'll Be There
posted by Stacy @ 10:16 PM
1 Comments:
At 9:52 PM ,
Ludakit said...
Wow...that's really nice. I don't know what else to say. I guess "thanks" would be in order, but it doesn't do it justice. I really appreciate that. I can't tell you enough.
And I'm still proud of you.
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