The Times They Are A-Changin'....
I miss blogging. I've started at least 10 blogs and have just not had enough time to complete a single thought and click "publish post" before something distracts me! It makes me sad. I don't like being on Kit's list of "not-so-consistent bloggers". I've caught myself going back and re-reading through old blogs published pre-PT school and I've been amused by how over-analytical I was back then. I've also impressed myself with my insight, especially in my thoughts regarding my Daddy. So much I've forgotten as I've crammed my head with PT facts. Things are just really different now and they continue to change. I always think that once I'm done with PT school, I can resume my blogging consistency, but then again, having Enon means that I can't really complain about being single, and while I guess I could vent about typical relationship issues that we have, broadcasting some of the turmoil that is our relationship at times is just not appropriate. The other theme that I seemed to dwell on in my hard-core blogging days was my Daddy. I think I really exhausted my faithful readers by discussing my grief regarding his death! I know y'all didn't mind "listening," but I definitely put a lot out there. The good news is that we, meaning my siblings and I, are getting ready to spread his ashes. It is time to let go, and I most certainly still have my moments but they are fewer and further between. William, Dean, and I and hopefully other family members are going to make the trip to Cedar Falls to honor his will the first weekend in April. It's a bittersweet time, and I'm so grateful that my brothers are going to be there to hold my hand as we hike up that mountain. We've lived in this world for almost 3 years without my Daddy, and I think it's safe to say that we're going to be ok. But God, I still miss him so much...
Ok, so what else is new? Well let's see...
1. My grandmother, Aunt Vicki, and Uncle Dave have been living in Perry for 7 months now. Naturally, drama has been stirred up and I'm just thankful that I don't have be a first-hand witness to it. Additionally, some truths regarding my mother's relationship with my grandmother have surfaced, and I also realize that my Daddy's story about his divorce from my mother was right on target. Needless to say, it doesn't really change anything, but I'm glad to have the truth confirmed.
2. William is being reassigned to the Azores (small Mediterranean island off the coast of Spain and Portugal for those of you scoring at home). Tough life, huh?? While over there, he will re-enlist and get his re-enlistment bonus tax-free! Additionally, he has a new girlfriend who has kids. What??!! So, William is 21 these days, and the girl was legitimately married at the time of conception which doesn't make a huge difference, especially in these times, but it somehow makes me breath easier. This ultimately means that William is like a father figure to these girls. Whoa.... When did we become adults, and how do we make it stop??!!
3. Two semesters left! Ok, I'll even go as far to say that really it's only a semester and a half! Once I get past August, I'm on the downhill slide! Just pray that I continue to do well, and while some of you might be thinking, "whatever Stacy, you got this!" just know that I've definitely been faced with some challenges that included a late-night pep talk from Dean and a total of 8 crying sessions. I've been struggling from burn out, a poor attitude, and newfound troubles with test taking skills. I can do this, but it's getting tougher. So, as I said, the prayers are much needed and I'm eternally grateful for them!
4. I feel like I've grown closer to a lot of people lately, namely Staisha, my mother, and Enon. Staisha and I have been talking on the phone at least once a week since the new year and we're going to be living together in August when I do a rotation at the Medical Center in Macon. We've been relying on each in ways that I truly don't think we've done since we were in high school, and it's felt really good. And in the midst of the aforementioned family drama, my mother, I think, has a newfound appreciation for me. So, I've always been the black sheep in the Bycenski-Gray family, but comparatively speaking to my relatives, I'm much more normal than they are in my mother's eyes! We've shared some good laughs and we, too, talk to each other almost weekly. And, we've been saying "I love you" more. This is huge! My mother and I have always had an unspoken love, but I like this new step that we've taken. I hope that we continue to go in this direction. Lastly, Enon has unfortunately been the blunt of a lot of my PT school related stress which is so unfair to him, but through our turmoil, I think we've really found new appreciation in our relationship. We have some stuff that we need to work on, but I'd say that we've overcome many obstacles that ultimately led to the "we need to talk" conversation. It wasn't necessarily pretty, but I enjoyed finding the common ground where I really felt that we understood each other better. It's left a warm feeling in my heart and has re-established the smile on my face. It has also made it easier to handle all the stress which is healthier for the both of us!
5. I think that's all.
So, I could elaborate more but am just going to hurry up and post this before I get distracted! Love y'all!
Ok, so what else is new? Well let's see...
1. My grandmother, Aunt Vicki, and Uncle Dave have been living in Perry for 7 months now. Naturally, drama has been stirred up and I'm just thankful that I don't have be a first-hand witness to it. Additionally, some truths regarding my mother's relationship with my grandmother have surfaced, and I also realize that my Daddy's story about his divorce from my mother was right on target. Needless to say, it doesn't really change anything, but I'm glad to have the truth confirmed.
2. William is being reassigned to the Azores (small Mediterranean island off the coast of Spain and Portugal for those of you scoring at home). Tough life, huh?? While over there, he will re-enlist and get his re-enlistment bonus tax-free! Additionally, he has a new girlfriend who has kids. What??!! So, William is 21 these days, and the girl was legitimately married at the time of conception which doesn't make a huge difference, especially in these times, but it somehow makes me breath easier. This ultimately means that William is like a father figure to these girls. Whoa.... When did we become adults, and how do we make it stop??!!
3. Two semesters left! Ok, I'll even go as far to say that really it's only a semester and a half! Once I get past August, I'm on the downhill slide! Just pray that I continue to do well, and while some of you might be thinking, "whatever Stacy, you got this!" just know that I've definitely been faced with some challenges that included a late-night pep talk from Dean and a total of 8 crying sessions. I've been struggling from burn out, a poor attitude, and newfound troubles with test taking skills. I can do this, but it's getting tougher. So, as I said, the prayers are much needed and I'm eternally grateful for them!
4. I feel like I've grown closer to a lot of people lately, namely Staisha, my mother, and Enon. Staisha and I have been talking on the phone at least once a week since the new year and we're going to be living together in August when I do a rotation at the Medical Center in Macon. We've been relying on each in ways that I truly don't think we've done since we were in high school, and it's felt really good. And in the midst of the aforementioned family drama, my mother, I think, has a newfound appreciation for me. So, I've always been the black sheep in the Bycenski-Gray family, but comparatively speaking to my relatives, I'm much more normal than they are in my mother's eyes! We've shared some good laughs and we, too, talk to each other almost weekly. And, we've been saying "I love you" more. This is huge! My mother and I have always had an unspoken love, but I like this new step that we've taken. I hope that we continue to go in this direction. Lastly, Enon has unfortunately been the blunt of a lot of my PT school related stress which is so unfair to him, but through our turmoil, I think we've really found new appreciation in our relationship. We have some stuff that we need to work on, but I'd say that we've overcome many obstacles that ultimately led to the "we need to talk" conversation. It wasn't necessarily pretty, but I enjoyed finding the common ground where I really felt that we understood each other better. It's left a warm feeling in my heart and has re-established the smile on my face. It has also made it easier to handle all the stress which is healthier for the both of us!
5. I think that's all.
So, I could elaborate more but am just going to hurry up and post this before I get distracted! Love y'all!
posted by Stacy @ 11:59 PM
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